I was standing in the middle of a rushing stream. I couldn’t see it, but I could feel it up to my ankles. All I could really see was the exit to the dark cave in which I was. The exit was a small opening only a short distance from where I stood. Through the opening, I could see a vast panorama of greens and blues – endless sky, mountains and rolling plains. Infinite sun rays beaming over the landscape. Given the enormity of the view, I knew this cave that I was standing in was quite high up in the sky and that if I were to exit it would be miles until I reach the ground. I started walking towards the exit of the cave, my feet wading through the cool water. I realized that I was about to jump and made a note that I would need to jump far enough to avoid hitting the rock faces below. As I approached the edge of the cave, true to my initial thought, I was so far up in the sky that I could barely see the water below. The river was rushing out of the cave and forming a staggering, sky-length, waterfall. It was beautiful. In that moment, I took a breath and jumped, and fell for what seemed to be many minutes. No rush of wind, no fear, I was falling towards the lake below with the waterfall by my side. I remember falling for much longer than I anticipated. Finally, my body pierced the water and I rocketed into submersion, into the clear blue lake. I swam to the top and felt an overwhelming sense of happiness that manifested itself through laughter. I then looked straight ahead and saw someone that I was supposed to know. Someone that I don’t know in real life. I then realized that they had been with me since I was in the cave. The projection of my Anima?
written songs I’ve ever heard, an old highschool favorite.
I dream that I missed the train. A sunny day shining on a rural train station, and my ass standing within the settling dust and fading train bells.
The first time I ever spoke to Ricky Gervais, he called me out of nowhere because he wanted to tell a story on his XFM show about something that had happened to me and Karl Pilkington and he wanted to check I didn’t mind. He was funny as you’d expect and I was excited because we were getting on really well and I liked his TV shows. I thought, “this is great – I’m gonna be lifelong chums with Ricky Gervais.” I remembered that Ricky is from Reading and thought, he’ll love my prostitute story. “Hey, Ricky, you’re from Reading, let me tell you this story about prostitutes in your home town.” I told him that story, got to the punchline – “Nanny, I’ve been a naughty girl. I’ve just shat myself and now I can’t go to playschool.” And Ricky went, “I’m gonna have to go now.” I just said, “Oh, Okay,” put the phone down feeling really deflated, and thought, “Oh no. What did I say?”